Sometimes, life puts you in messy situations where you’re not sure if you’re doing the right thing or not. That’s what Na Me F— Up? is about — real Nigerians sharing the choices they’ve made, while you decide if they fucked up or not.
When Dara* (29) agreed to attend a beach rave with her friend, Teni* (28), and Teni’s boyfriend, she hoped they could put their differences aside for one night. But an argument at the rave made her leave earlier, and she accidentally left the couple stranded.
At the end of this story, you’ll get to decide: did she fuck up or not?
This is Dara’s dilemma as told to Betty:
Teni* and I have been friends for four years. We met through a mutual friend in 2022 and became close pretty quickly. We have a lot in common, and until recently, we rarely had serious disagreements. The only recurring issue in our friendship has been her boyfriend, Femi*.
I don’t like him, and I’m pretty sure the feeling is mutual.
When they started dating in 2025, I actually liked Femi. He seemed like a decent guy, and I was happy Teni had found someone who treated her right. But over time, I noticed how much he complained whenever Teni spent time with her friends. He also didn’t like that she came to me for relationship advice and accused me of interfering in their relationship.
I didn’t want their relationship problems to affect our friendship, so I kept my distance. Teni and I could still hang out, but when Femi was around, we’d exchange greetings and make small talk. That was enough for me.
A few weeks ago, she invited me to a rave at Tarkwa Bay. I was excited until she mentioned Femi would be coming too. I immediately lost interest.
Teni begged me to reconsider, and eventually, I agreed because I wanted to have a good time with my friend and figured we were all adults who could be civil for one night.
We arrived at the beach in the afternoon. The rave started around 11 p.m., and things went smoothly. We drank, danced and took pictures.
At some point, I ran into David*, a guy I’d been flirting with for a few weeks, and spent most of the night dancing with him and his friends.
Later, I stepped outside for some air and ran into Teni and Femi. I tried to make small talk, but Femi quickly brought up the same issue we’d argued about before. He said I was still all up in their business, and I told him that if Teni wasn’t constantly complaining about his behaviour, maybe she wouldn’t need to ask other people for relationship advice.
My response led to an argument, and Teni eventually pulled me aside to stop us. I hated that she took his side since he started the argument, but I didn’t want to fight with her, too. So I went back to David’s group.
By sunrise, I’d had enough. I was tired, irritated and ready to go home. I found Teni and told her I wanted to leave. She said Femi was planning to hire a boat for noon so the three of us could get back to the mainland. I told her I couldn’t wait that long and would be going back with David instead.
Before leaving at 9 a.m., I sent Teni a WhatsApp message to let her know. She didn’t respond, but I assumed she’d see it eventually. She was with her boyfriend, and they had his car waiting at the jetty, so I didn’t think leaving early would be a problem.
What I didn’t remember was that earlier in the night, Teni had given me Femi’s phone and keys to keep in my bag while she danced.
When I got home, I plugged in my phone and went straight to bed. I woke up around 3 p.m. to several missed calls and angry messages from Teni.
She told me that when it was time to call the boat, she and Femi couldn’t find his phone or keys. They’d searched everywhere, including the beach, before Teni remembered she’d handed them to me. I’d completely forgotten.
I felt terrible and called Teni to apologise, but she was furious. She said they’d spent hours trying to reach me and eventually had to leave in a canoe. When they got home, they had to call a locksmith to open the door at Femi’s place.
Femi was even angrier. He thought I’d deliberately taken his phone and keys to punish him for our little exchange at the rave. Teni said she didn’t think I’d done it on purpose, but she understood why Femi was suspicious. I apologised, offered to cover the cost of their transportation and send the phone and keys.
But Teni said the money wasn’t the issue. She was more upset that I’d left without them in the first place. We’d gone together, so she felt I should have waited until all three of us were ready to leave.
I reminded her that I’d told her I wanted to leave, but she refused because Femi wasn’t ready. I didn’t see why I had to remain somewhere I was uncomfortable because her boyfriend wasn’t ready to leave.
Then she accused me of putting my issues with Femi above our friendship. She said I’d spent most of the night away from her, argued with her boyfriend and then disappeared without considering how my actions might affect them.
I thought that was unfair. I’d spent most of the night away because I wanted to avoid Femi, and when he eventually confronted me, I didn’t start the argument. I also reminded her that she’d begged me to come despite knowing we didn’t get along. Teni said I’d agreed to come willingly, so I couldn’t use that as an excuse for my behaviour. We went back and forth until she eventually said she needed some space.
I returned Femi’s property that afternoon and paid for their transportation. I also apologised to Femi through Teni. He didn’t acknowledge it, but I wasn’t particularly bothered. I’d made my mistake and done what I could to fix it.
A few days later, some of our mutual friends heard about what happened. One of them said that I should’ve told Teni in person before leaving. She also pointed out that if David hadn’t offered me a ride, I would’ve had no choice but to wait for Teni and Femi anyway.
Another friend thought Teni was being unreasonable. She said Teni shouldn’t have insisted I come along when she knew Femi and I had unresolved issues. Teni and I haven’t spoken properly since then. I’ve tried reaching out, but our conversations have been brief and awkward.
I understand how stressful the situation must’ve been for them, but I don’t think I was wrong for leaving. I feel like I’m being punished for refusing to spend my night around someone who clearly doesn’t like me.
At the same time, I understand why Teni felt hurt. I should have considered her in the moment. I don’t want to lose my friendship with Teni over one night out. I keep beating myself up over it.
Was I wrong for leaving them at the rave?
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