Author: Winifred Andem
After meeting Dami* on her birthday, their friendship quickly blossomed into something romantic and Eniola* thought she鈥檇 found her person. Then an unexpected phone conversation revealed a side of him she didn鈥檛 know existed.
In this story, she shares how an unsettling discovery exposed Dami’s involvement in internet fraud, how his actions affected her health long after their relationship ended, and why she’s been celibate for five years.
This is Eniola鈥檚 story, as told to Winifred
I met Dami* on my birthday in 2020. My friend Jackson* ran into me at a lounge where I was having drinks by myself. He asked why I was alone on my birthday, and I told him I wanted to enjoy my own company. He insisted on taking me somewhere else because a friend of his was waiting for him there. Perhaps if I’d stood my ground, I wouldn’t be telling this story.
When we arrived, Dami joined us, and we connected almost instantly. We exchanged numbers and started talking every day. It felt like we’d known each other our entire lives. We鈥檇 send each other memes and spend hours gisting on the phone. He lived in Lagos, so he returned there a few weeks after we met.
A few months later, I temporarily moved to Lagos and stayed with my cousin. Then I found out Dami lived on the same street. Being so close brought us closer, and our friendship eventually turned romantic. We started going on dates and spending more time together.
The more time we spent together, the more I learnt about his interests and views on life. He was progressive and often talked about tech, which was something I was interested in. But for someone who spoke so confidently, he was surprisingly vague about what he did for a living.聽
Once, he told me Lagos is a place where anyone could 鈥渂low鈥, make a lot of money, and buy cars almost immediately. All he needed to do was make a few calls. He made getting rich sound ridiculously easy, but I didn鈥檛 think too deeply about it at the time.
Besides, I enjoyed spending time with him. One day, he took me on a particularly sweet, romantic date. There were candles, and he bought me flowers. Everything felt beautiful, and I thought we鈥檇 both found something good. I had no idea how quickly that feeling would change.
One night, he drove us out to buy groceries. During the drive, I kept tickling and playing with him. He repeatedly told me to stop because I was distracting him. Then, very casually, he added that if we got into an accident, he wouldn’t be in the car with me.
I thought he was joking and didn’t pay much attention to what he’d said. But when we got home, he took off his shirt, and I noticed some marks on his chest that I hadn’t seen before.
I’d heard stories about internet fraudsters getting involved in diabolical practices to make more money, so I asked him what the marks were. He dismissed my question, saying it wasn’t my business and that I should focus on the movie we were watching. I can鈥檛 explain it, but when I looked at his chest again, the marks seemed to have disappeared.
I couldn’t sleep that night. I kept replaying what he’d said in the car and wondering if it had anything to do with the marks. I also remembered all the things he鈥檇 said about how easily I鈥檇 become rich if he made a few calls on my behalf. Eventually, I slept off, only to wake up a few hours later to voices coming from the living room.
I tiptoed out of the bedroom and stood a few metres away to listen. There was my darling boy Dami, speaking with a woman on the phone in an accent I’d never heard him use before. He was trying to convince her to send him money and telling her things about himself that I knew weren’t true. I listened for a while and gradually realised that he was trying to scam her.
I never confronted him about what I’d heard, but I knew I couldn鈥檛 continue seeing him after that. I’ve been scammed twice before, so I knew how it felt to have someone steal your hard-earned money. I couldn’t imagine being romantically involved with someone who was doing the same thing to other people.
Unfortunately, discovering who Dami really was wasn’t the only thing I had to deal with after we broke up. We had a lot of unprotected sex, and I frequently took morning-after pills to avoid getting pregnant. After taking them so often, I started experiencing heavy bleeding, which lasted for months.
Dami became increasingly nonchalant about what I was going through before eventually ghosting me. I was left to deal with everything alone.
The bleeding eventually led to a major health concern that I’m still recovering from. The whole experience is a big reason I’ve remained celibate for five years now. My health is my biggest consideration, and I don鈥檛 want to put myself through anything like that again. Besides, these men aren’t even worth it.
Dami later came back to apologise, saying he didn’t understand the extent of what I’d shared with him. But by then, I鈥檇 already moved on. My cousin hates him till today.
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