Author: Winifred Andem
Children say the darndest things, but sometimes, what they reveal about their families is enough to leave an adult speechless.
We asked seven Nigerian teachers about the shocking, disturbing and heartbreaking family secrets their students have revealed in the classroom. Here鈥檚 what they had to say.
鈥淢y student knows all his dad鈥檚 girlfriends names鈥 鈥 Lola*, 27
I was teaching my students about monogamy and polygamy during a Social Studies class when one boy challenged my explanation.
I explained that polygamy involves being married to more than one spouse. He raised his hand and said his daddy brings different women home all the time, but he hasn鈥檛 married any of them. So, he wanted to know if that counts as polygamy too.
Before I could even respond, he started listing their names.I went quiet, trying to process what was happening while he carried on talking about his father鈥檚 bribes too.
This boy is in BASIC 3! I genuinely didn鈥檛 know how to approach that conversation.
鈥淗is father doesn鈥檛 work, but he has somewhere to be every day鈥 鈥 Adejuwon*, 30
There鈥檚 a boy in my class whose family situation during a lesson on family roles. I told the children how I used to go to the farm early in the morning with my mother, then asked if they knew what their parents did for a living.
Everyone answered until this seven-year-old boysaid his daddy doesn鈥檛 work. His mummy lives abroad and feeds them, while his father spends his days sitting in a woman鈥檚 shop until night.
I tried to soften the situation by saying at least his daddy cared for them at home, then he corrected me. He said grandmother bathes them and cooks for them.
鈥淎 student casually talked about his abusive dad鈥 鈥 Solomon*,28
It was around 7 a.m., before assembly. I was rushing through my lesson notes when a little boy from KG came running into my classroom.
I smiled and greeted him. He did the usual little-kid things, ran around, drummed on my table, then walked up to me and said, 鈥淯ncle, my daddy beat my mummy yesterday.鈥 I immediately froze. He continued, demonstrating with his hands. 鈥淗e blow her eyes like this.鈥 What made it more awkward was that his mother was always giving relationship advice and talking about how loving her husband was. There I was, sitting with a lesson note in my hand and trying to process what this child had just told me. Then he burped and ran out.
鈥淚 had to teach an SS1 student that beating your wife isn鈥檛 love鈥 鈥 Sunday*, 33
I remember an incident with some SS1 students who were arguing about family and love. They were debating whether treating your wife well made her respect you less.
One boy insisted that women needed to be beaten occasionally whenever they misbehaved, just to remind them who鈥檚 in charge. He used his parents as an example, explaining that his father disciplined his mother whenever she messed up. Yet, she remained devoted to his father and never complained.
I don鈥檛 even remember when I smacked the back of his head and told him to shut up. Then I gave the entire class a lesson on domestic violence, respect, and what love actually means.
鈥淚 asked about his black eye, and he gave me a family update鈥 鈥 Nelly*,21
This is really not funny, but funny in the most disturbing way.
A child came to school with a black eye, and when I asked him about it in class, he said, 鈥淢iss, my daddy give my mummy gboza! He hit her head on the wall, and when I went there, he just blow me in my eye.鈥
He said it so casually, like he was recounting the latest episode of Power Rangers.
And that鈥檚 the part that gets me. This is somebody鈥檚 reality, but to him, it was just another thing that happened at home.
鈥淗is mother was scamming his dad鈥 鈥 Jo*, 31
A student once told me that whenever the school sent his mother a bill, she created another version with extra charges and sent it to his father. His daddy has no idea.
He told me he wanted to expose his mother, but his father barely came home, checked their books or tookan interest in their studies.
All I could do was listen to a child wrestle with whether to expose his mother鈥檚 dishonesty or not since the father barely showed up. A lot of parents don鈥檛 know that children notice more than we think.
鈥淢y student smiled through hunger so nobody would worry鈥 鈥 Ayo * 27, M
There was a boy in my class who always dressed very nice, brought lovely meals, and excelled in everything. His father used to pay three terms鈥 school fees at once, and that had been the arrangement since KG.
Then, in Primary One, everything changed. The boy became slimmer, unkempt, and stopped bringing lunch sometimes. Whenever I asked why, he鈥檇 smile and say he forgot his lunchbox at home.
One afternoon, he came to me during lunch and whispered that he was hungry. He confessed he hadn鈥檛 forgotten his lunchbox; there simply wasn鈥檛 any food at home. He鈥檇 had pap for breakfast and nothing the night before. He told me his dad had sold his car, and his sister needed surgery.
He was just a little boy, telling me things no child should have to worry about. I started buying him food and his mother cried when she found out. The school and I helped however we could.
Then the family disappeared, I don鈥檛 think they could keep up in Lagos. I still think about them, and I wonder if he鈥檚 okay now.
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