Sex Life is an anonymous ÌÇÐÄÔ´´ weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians.
The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 27-year-old gay man who has been making porn for the past two years. He talks about earning six figures a month, navigating Nigeria’s homophobic laws and how the pandemic has affected his business.
What was your first sexual experience?
I had my first real experience when I was 18. Growing up, I always knew I liked boys, but I didn’t actually understand what I was feeling. For the longest time, I assumed I was the only one in the world who was drawn to people of the same sex. I was sure I had a problem.
Granted, when I was younger I fooled around with other boys, but I don’t really count those as sexual experiences — anyone could have done that. I even fooled around with a few girls. Since I didn’t really know what I was doing at the time, I don’t think those encounters matter.
Fair. So, what happened when you were 18?
I had just gotten into university and I was finally feeling like a man. I was taking a walk and a random guy tapped me on my shoulder and asked to talk to me. He was much older than me — probably in his early thirties.
I was apprehensive because I didn’t know him, but he said he just wanted to have a harmless conversation. I eventually agreed. I figured that since he was old enough to be my uncle, he must have meant well.
I went with him to a recreational park and while we were walking, he started telling me how cute I was. It felt nice to be complimented, so I thanked him. He didn’t stop there. He then said he loved me — barely an hour after meeting me.
WHAT?
Yup. I was so confused. Not just because this stranger was professing love to me, but because he was a man professing love to another man. I made my confusion very apparent to him, but he didn’t believe I was actually that clueless.
I was a slightly effeminate teenager, and I guess that’s why he assumed I was already aware of my sexuality. It took a lot of convincing, but he eventually believed that I really didn’t know what he was talking about.
All this time, we were walking deeper into the park. When we got to a more secluded area, he asked if I’d ever given a man head. I said no. He immediately whipped out his dick and asked me to try it. I was a bit taken aback, but I knew I wanted to do it. So, I did.
What happened next?
We exchanged numbers after I was done and got together a couple more times. Whenever we met up, we’d make out and give each other head, but we never had penetrative sex. That happened about a year later with an entirely different person.
How was that experience?
I’d actually rather not talk about it. The experience was traumatic for me.
That’s ok. So, what’s your sex life like these days?
Lmao. This is a loaded question for me. I do porn, so it’s a two-way street. My work IS my sex life, but not the entirety of it. So, when you ask me about my sex life, my brain isn’t sure how to make the distinction.
Wait. Let me try. Shooting homemade porn makes up the better part of my sexual encounters. So, whenever I get horny, I immediately think about shooting another video. Having sex just for the sake of sex now feels like a waste of time and money.
That’s not to say it doesn’t happen. Sometimes, if I really like someone, I’ll have sex with them without turning it into a video. It’s very rare, though. These days, I even reject advances from people that don’t seem like they’d be down to make a video.
Oh wow. How long have you been in porn?
Almost two years now.
What made you decide to start?
When I found the porn side of Twitter and saw people from all over the world expressing themselves sexually, I was inspired. I’ve always loved attention, so I decided to get some. I first started off by posting nudes. The reaction was nice but limited.
Then one day, I was having sex with a friend and he suggested we make a video. We did and I posted it on Twitter. The reaction was great — lots of views, likes and comments — and I got really excited. That’s how I started making more videos and it took off from there.
Did you always plan to make money from it?
Nah. It was initially just for fun. I liked the attention and the fact that people were hitting me up for sex. It wasn’t until a little later, when I noticed just how much attention I was getting, that I started looking at it as a potential business opportunity.
How did that go?
It was a struggle. I tried selling my videos to various porn sites, but that didn’t work. Then I tried using OnlyFans and that didn’t work either. I almost gave up at some point, but I enjoyed making porn too much to stop.
So, I just decided to focus on growing my fanbase on Twitter instead. Then a few months later, a friend who knew I was struggling to monetize told me to try a platform called SubscribePlace. I did and it was a perfect fit. That’s the site I’ve been using ever since.
Wait. How big is your Twitter fanbase?
I have from all around the world. People seem to really love homemade porn.
Damn. How much do you make from subscriptions in a good month?
I make around six figures.
Impressive. Is it hard to find people to be in videos with you?
It’s not hard, but it’s tricky. There are a lot of people in my DMs asking to be in videos with me, but considering just how dangerous Nigeria is for queer people, I always have to be very cautious about who I agree to meet up with.
Whenever someone DMs me and I’m interested, I do a ton of research on them before I decide to make a video. So, it’s not hard to find people at all, it’s just hard to decide which of the many options available can be trusted.
What else do you do to stay safe?
First of all, I wear a mask in all my videos — concealing my identity is the most important thing. I also never shoot videos in my house; I always use hotels. I wouldn’t want someone to recognise my place and call the police or something.
How do you typically shoot a video?
All I really need is my phone, my tripod and my scene partner (or partners). However, there are times I need an extra hand to help provide more angles, and I get someone I trust to shoot. That is rare though. I usually just handle it myself.
How long does a regular shoot last?
About 3 to 4 hours for an hour-long video. So, my shoots are typically overnight — to allow for breaks.
Smart. Has anyone ever offered to pay you for sex?
I actually have a side gig that covers that. I’m also a massage therapist, and I give clients happy endings (concluding the massage with a handjob) if they request it and are willing to pay more. So, you see why I said my work life is almost the entirety of my sex life.
Yeah. Have you been in a serious relationship since you started?
No, I haven’t.
You don’t want to?
I’m actually very open to being in a serious relationship, but the person has to fully accept what I do. As you can imagine, that’s very hard to come by. So, until I can find someone like that, I’m more than happy staying single.
How would you say making porn has changed the way you think about sex?
It hasn’t changed much. Whether there is a camera or not, sex is still sex to me. I still have to feel connected to the person to enjoy it. The only major difference now is that I’m rarely interested in doing it if it’s not going to bring money into my account.
How has the coronavirus pandemic affected all of this?
It’s been both good and bad for business. For the past two months, I’ve made a lot more money than I used to make. That’s been particularly surprising because I’ve haven’t been able to post as much content.
For all of April and the better part of March, I didn’t post one new video, but I got new subscribers. I guess the old videos are still doing their work. But, I’m not sure how long that will last. I’ve already lost a few subscribers who got tired of waiting for new content.
That sucks. Before the pandemic, how often were you making videos?
About 3 to 4 times a month. I just hope this ends soon, so I can get back to it.
How would you rate your sex life on a scale of 1 to 10?
I’ll give it a 10.
Oh wow. We rarely get 10s.
I mean, I make money off of doing something I love. What could be better?
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