Sometimes, life puts you in messy situations where you鈥檙e not sure if you鈥檙e doing the right thing or not. That鈥檚 what Na Me F鈥 Up? is about 鈥 real Nigerians sharing the choices they鈥檝e made, while you decide if they fucked up or not.
When a friend鈥檚 secret pulled Joe* (46) into the heart of a marital crisis, he believed silence was the safest choice. He was wrong. His silence cost him the trust of everyone involved.
I met both Esther* and Moses* in university. Esther was my coursemate, and we became close after being paired together on an assignment. Her hostel was near mine, so we visited each other often.
In my third year, around 2004, I introduced her to my roommate, Moses. He saw her during a visit to mine and immediately said he liked her. Before long, they started dating, and in 2009, they got married.
After school, we all ended up in the same city, so our friendship continued naturally. Esther鈥檚 career took off quickly. We both studied finance, but she rose rapidly through the ranks and became the head accountant in a top firm.
Moses didn鈥檛 have the same luck. He never moved past his teaching job and struggled with the reality of being financially dependent on Esther. From what I observed, she tried not to make him feel less than. When she bought a car for his parents, she let him present it to protect his pride. However, despite this, he often confided in me, saying that Esther made him feel small, and she refused to support him when he tried to start a business. He believed she wanted him to remain reliant on her.
I鈥檇 try to talk him out of those thoughts, reminding him of the many ways Esther helped him. But by early 2023, he became more vocal about wanting to 鈥渇eel like a man again.鈥 Then he started seeing Faith*, a young girl in her early twenties. They were in the same church unit.
When he confessed to me that he was sleeping with her, I was shocked. I couldn鈥檛 understand what he saw in Faith when he had a wife like Esther. However, he was an adult, and I didn鈥檛 encourage him or try to get involved. I simply stayed out of it.
Things got more complicated when he introduced Faith to Esther as his mentee. Because they were from the same hometown, Esther didn鈥檛 suspect anything. Moses even convinced Esther to help Faith secure a land deal that earned her a commission. It didn鈥檛 sit well with me, but I ignored all of it because it wasn鈥檛 my place to interfere.
Esther hardly had time for anything outside work, and Moses claimed she鈥檇 never notice his movements. But by March of this year, she began to notice small things that didn鈥檛 add up. One day, she came to me and asked if Moses was cheating on her. She said she had strong suspicions and had already caught him in a lie about his whereabouts.
I told her I didn鈥檛 think so. I knew how explosive she could be when she felt betrayed, and I believed I was choosing the least destructive option. I didn鈥檛 want to be the one to scatter their marriage. I was also thinking of their four innocent children in the mix.
Unknown to me, Esther didn鈥檛 drop it. She began investigating with her sister. They went through his phone, tracked his movements, and pieced everything together slowly. That was how she discovered that Moses had gotten Faith an apartment, furnished it, and gave her an allowance 鈥 all with the money coming from Esther.
A few weeks ago, she and her sister trailed him to the apartment. When Faith opened the door, Esther pushed her out of the way. They found Moses in the bedroom wearing only his boxers. What made it worse were the framed photos of him and Faith all over the walls, like they were a married couple.
Esther lost it. She slapped Faith repeatedly and tore her clothes. Then she and her sister turned on Moses. Faith managed to alert her neighbours and call the police, and they took Esther and her sister to the station.
Clueless about what to do, Moses called me. I rushed over, helped him with the police statement, and made sure Esther and her sister were released on bail with the condition that they wouldn鈥檛 threaten Faith again. That same day, Esther told him to move out, and he鈥檚 been begging to save the marriage ever since.
Afterwards, Esther confronted me. She wanted to know why I didn鈥檛 warn her. She said I let her walk into humiliation. I kept pretending I didn鈥檛 know anything, but at that point, it was obvious Moses had already involved me. She has refused to speak to me ever since.
Now my own wife is on her side. She went through my phone recently because she doesn鈥檛 trust that I鈥檓 not doing the same thing. She believes I covered for Moses because I鈥檓 also hiding something. It鈥檚 like everyone has decided I鈥檓 the villain in a story that has nothing to do with me.
I鈥檓 stuck, wondering if I made a mistake by staying loyal to my friend and trying to protect their marriage. Now, my decision has cost me more than I expected.
Read Next: On The Streets: He Said Cheating With a White Woman Didn鈥檛 Count
