糖心原创

  • What Happens When You Can鈥檛 Withdraw Cash for Two Weeks Straight?

    Situation update: There鈥檚 still no cash, and you can鈥檛 rely on mobile banking because banks are hellbent on doing their best impression of our village people. How do you survive? Let鈥檚 help you.

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    One day, you鈥檙e wondering where to find the shortest fuel queue. The next, central bank decides to change its currency, fix a short deadline on old notes, then goes ahead to make the new notes scarce and force everyone to go cashless.

    I didn鈥檛 think it鈥檇 be an issue really, until my bank started acting like the weapons fashioned against me, and I couldn鈥檛 even go cashless in peace.聽
    So, I tried to survive on only 鈧�500 cash at hand for two weeks, and I鈥檓 still alive. It鈥檚 very likely you don鈥檛 have cash too 鈥� or you don鈥檛 have enough for the necessary small transactions 鈥� so let me teach you how to survive this period.

    Stay at home

    Whoever invented introverts knows ball. I鈥檓 not much of an outside person, but this period has further taught me the wisdom of sitting at home and eating whatever I have in my kitchen. If work makes you leave your house every day, I sympathise with you.

    Do online transfers for EVERYTHING

    When they work, at least. A friend told me how she transferred 鈧�300 to a pepper seller. Thing is, you won鈥檛 know who accepts transfers unless you ask. Ask that okada man for a transfer option today.

    Become interested in fitfam

    Do you really need to take a bus when you can walk? Do you actually crave shawarma, or are your village people just working overtime? You can always tell yourself you鈥檙e pursuing your fitness goals.

    Sleep

    You can鈥檛 spend money while you sleep.

    Shop at supermarkets

    Since the major problem is cash, do your shopping at places where POS transactions are readily available. Of course, your bank can still disgrace you, but what鈥檚 life without a little risk?

    Date a POS attendant 

    Who knows, you might get free new notes as a relationship privilege. Plus, imagine dating one of the hottest set of people in Nigeria right now.

    Just give up

    Even if you survive the two-week mark, what鈥檚 the assurance that the cash situation would鈥檝e improved by then? God, actually abeg.


    RELATED: What Nigerian Banks Should Do Since Banking Isn鈥檛 Their Calling

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