False bank transfers, fake investment schemes, the Nigerian prince who has asked every foreigner for money. What trickery haven鈥檛 Nigerians been involved in?
While pulling off a scam is terrible, it requires intelligence, and the unsuspecting Nigerians in this article met scammers who lacked the smarts to see their scheme through.
From hiking the price of an item in a young girl鈥檚 presence to inflating public school fees, they shared the most foolish scams they almost fell victim to, and how they felt about them.
鈥淭he market woman took it too far.鈥 鈥 Amara*, 30, F.
I wanted to make coconut rice, and the seller initially told me one coconut cost 鈧2k. Then, she must have heard my voice clearly and suddenly changed the price to 鈧15k.
For context, I schooled in the UK, and I still have a bit of an accent. That apparently gave her the guts to raise the price. When I complained, she started the worst fake accent I鈥檝e ever heard and claimed it cost that much because she shipped it in from 鈥渙verseas.鈥 I was so angry and shouted so much that a small crowd formed.
The woman fought back, saying if I can鈥檛 afford an ordinary coconut, I should go. But it wasn鈥檛 about the cost; it was about the thievery. It wasn鈥檛 until I started speaking Yoruba that she knew she鈥檇 messed up.
She started begging me, but I waited until her boss arrived. When I told her boss what happened, she slapped the girl, apologised profusely, and offered me two coconuts for free. I still gave the boss 鈧4k, the normal price for the items. I walked around the market to get more things, and by the time I was leaving, the girl鈥檚 boss was still yelling at her.
鈥淪he hiked the price because I smiled.鈥 鈥 Amina*, 21, F.
Last week, my contact lens solution ran out, so I went to the mall with my sisters to buy more. Typically, I spend about 鈧5k on the solution, so when the woman at the counter said the price was 鈧4,200, I got excited and smiled at my sisters. The woman smiled along with us, but little did I know it was for a more sinister reason.
She started joking that if I was relieved, then that could not actually be the price. It was all fun and games until she started insisting we pay more. Our smiles dropped as she reiterated that my smiling was too suspicious, and now she had to get 鈥渢he real price.鈥
When she couldn鈥檛 find a different price on her laptop (because why would she?), she looked me dead in the eye with that same foolish grin and said, 鈥淚 have to call my madam.鈥
In shock, I stood with my sisters for another five minutes as she dialled her boss’s unreachable number. I鈥檓 sure that if her boss had picked up, they would have inflated the price no matter the cost of the lens solution.
The woman said we should wait for her boss to answer. Me? Wait? I took that as a sign from God and fled. She called after us, but she can keep her solution. Even if the cost had risen by 鈧1, I would never have paid.
鈥淭he scam email was so funny that I had to reply.鈥 鈥 Dalu*, 26, M.
I like to think that if you stress your scammer, then you鈥檙e setting the universe in balance. That鈥檚 why last year, when I received a spam email claiming I had won a Lexus, I had to engage.
It turns out not only had I 鈥渨on鈥 a Lexus, but I鈥檇 earned 鈧5m simply by being picked from a ballot I never entered. When I clicked the link to 鈥渞etrieve鈥 my gifts, it insisted I had to set up an account with 鈧10k.
Because I鈥檓 not okay, I emailed them asking different questions, from the colour of the Lexus to how I was going to receive the money. They answered each one, and I could tell by their emails that they were getting increasingly frustrated. After about 30 minutes of back-and-forth, I asked the scammer to keep the car because I already had one, but he could send the money to my uncle in EFCC. The scammer called me an idiot and cursed my generation. It was worth it.
鈥淢y daughter tried to make me pay triple her school fees.鈥 鈥 Folarin*, 54, M.
Two years ago, when my daughter was in her second year of university, I decided to teach her some responsibility by having her pay her own school fees. I would hand her all the money she needed, then step back until required.
When I asked my daughter how much her tuition was, she boldly stated that it was 鈧950k per session. I knew it was a lie, especially because the last time it hadn鈥檛 even cost more than 鈧250k, but I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. I sent her 鈧600k, and a day later, she told me I needed to send the rest, or they鈥檇 increase her fees.
Calmly, I told her it wasn鈥檛 a problem, and I would call the admin officer to figure something out. Not even two seconds after those words left my mouth, she started fumbling and telling me not to worry, but I insisted. The matter dragged on until she broke down and confessed she had lied. The tuition was actually 鈧300k per session.
She鈥檚 too old to be beaten, so I could only take her phone and yell at her. But if I鈥檓 being honest, it broke my heart that she would lie like that.
鈥淪he tried to pull a fake alert scam on my girlfriend, then started crying.鈥 鈥 Ebube*, 27, F.
My girlfriend and I went to a small shop in my estate to restock on household items. While paying for her purchases, my girlfriend was overly friendly with the shopkeeper, which I鈥檝e told her to stop because the woman has always been sketchy.
Turns out I was right. On our way home, we realised the shopkeeper had charged my girlfriend 鈧20k instead of 鈧2k. My girlfriend insisted it was a mistake, but I marched right back to the shop and demanded a refund.
My girlfriend isn鈥檛 good at confrontation, so the shopkeeper claimed it had been a mistake and that they couldn鈥檛 refund her. Instead, she had to pick up more things in the shop.
I pushed in front of my babe and gave that girl the lecture of her life. I cursed her and her family, then said, “I鈥檒l take this matter to my uncle, who is a policeman.” (I don鈥檛 even have any uncles left).
I think that did it for her, because she burst into crocodile tears and started begging my girlfriend, saying she鈥檇 done it because her daughter needed some money for school.
My girlfriend sympathised and told the woman not to worry. I was so angry. This was five months ago, but I still get heated when I think about it. I can swear on my life that that shopkeeper doesn鈥檛 even have a daughter.
鈥淪he said she鈥檇 been in an accident, then posted on Facebook.鈥 鈥 Toni*, 32, M.
I鈥檝e done a lot of stupid things for love. The worst one I can remember was three years ago with my ex. She was always in one issue or another that required me to send her money. One time, she claimed an agbero (thug) beat her up, and she needed 鈧6k to go home, but when I went to see her, she looked perfectly fine. Another time, she told me her brother was sick and needed 鈧50k, only for me to learn later that she only had sisters, so she quickly changed it to her male cousin.
However, my final straw was when she lied that she鈥檇 been in a car crash. She called me crying after work, claiming a trailer had hit her while she was walking down the Third Mainland Bridge. Please, for the love of God, who casually walks down the Third Mainland Bridge?
Incidentally, I opened Facebook, and her mother鈥檚 post was the first one I saw. In the picture, she and my girlfriend were having dinner. I鈥檒l never forget that the caption was something along the lines of 鈥渕y greatest blessing,鈥 because all I could think was that surely this girlfriend of mine was a curse.
I screenshotted it and sent it to my girlfriend. She never responded, so I blocked her. This year, she reached out from an unknown number to apologise, saying she had given her life to Christ and had repented. I didn鈥檛 answer. She should repent far away from me.
鈥淪he was selling kilishi, but her profile was dresses.鈥 鈥 Rachel*, 25, F.
About a year ago, I was looking for a dress for my friend’s birthday dinner. I found an Instagram page with pretty dresses, but I was immediately thrown off. Firstly, all the women were white; secondly, she had only 50 followers. Still, I was desperate, so I messaged her.
When I asked about the price of things, she told me her kilishi cost 鈧5k for the smallest one. Kilishi from where? I told her that鈥檚 not what she鈥檚 selling on her page, and she immediately got defensive, saying her page is authentic and anyone who says otherwise is lying. Then, she blocked me.
A few days later, her page was taken down, and I鈥檓 sure it鈥檚 for scamming. Until today, I don鈥檛 understand where kilishi came from. My best guess is she had a scam page for kilishi as well and mixed them up.
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