Dating an upcoming musician is hell, but you can live with it if they use a stage name. But an upcoming tiktoker? Their face is their brand, so how will you hide your shame? Imagine thinking you鈥檙e dating a human being then mid argument, they start dancing and whining their waist? Here are signs to look out for to avoid stories that touch.
They start saying 鈥淧OV鈥 before sentences
You can ask, 鈥淲hat do you want to do this weekend?鈥 and they鈥檇 say, 鈥淧OV: We go to the club鈥. Block that person, please. You鈥檙e single now.
They take screenshots of 鈥渃ute鈥 texts between you guys
Do they care that some apps announce screenshots? Absolutely not. Next thing you know, your ex who said you鈥檇 never find love is using the screenshot of your current partner telling you, 鈥淵ou sometimes look like the inside of a calabash, but they love you鈥 to do, 鈥淭his you?鈥
They鈥檙e always trying to teach you a new dance
Do they care that you鈥檙e 23 with the bones of a 72-year-old who jumped buses for 50 years? Nope, all they want from you is the validation of those 30 likes, 45 views and one comment.
Or dancing in the middle of an argument
If you had to think about this twice, it鈥檚 too late for you.
They do the randomest things to get your reaction
You too deep it. She bought you a post-Valentine’s Day gift? And you think you鈥檙e safe?
They share their password with you
No, they don鈥檛 trust you. They just don鈥檛 have time to cheat. All they want is for you to easily unlock the phone and record their little dancey dance on the main road at a moment鈥檚 notice.
Their phone is always charged
Have you ever met a Tiktoker with low phone battery? Exactly. If your partner is always charging their phone, or walking around with those giant power banks, it鈥檚 because they鈥檙e secretly recording TikTok content. Break up now before it鈥檚 too late.
They have two phones
How can anybody afford two phones in this economy? It鈥檚 because they need it to record all those 鈥淚 just woke up鈥 videos. Next thing you know, they鈥檙e waking you up every morning by six a.m. to film them.
You鈥檙e always getting pranked
At first, it was small things like recording you looking for your follow-come charger. Next thing, it鈥檚 you reacting to them cutting the 2k you you paid 500 to withdraw. Then, this upcoming tiktoker is 鈥渏okingly鈥 using your certificate to wrap akara.
You don鈥檛 remember what hot food tastes like
Why? Because by the time they鈥檝e finished recording videos of the food from all angles, like a poorly made Indian movie, all it tastes like is the money plus 17% you spent on it.
They buy a big ring light
Not those cute ones they can just attach to the phone and use at owambes. No, those gigantic ones photographers use to take pictures. If you don鈥檛 run, you鈥檒l be the one carrying it around town last last.
They unbox things you know are not new
Before God and man, you know that hair product they just unboxed is empty and has been so for two months. Why would you want to date a liar, aka an upcoming tiktoker on purpose?
