Last week, we spoke to babies about finding themselves in Nigeria against their will. Now, we’ve spoken to a few more frustrated inanimate objects for our Interview With… series.
We sat down with some of the most luxurious cars in the world to tell us their experience on Nigerian roads.
Tesla
Please, I am a Tesla, not a Toyota put some respect on my name. Have you seen the roads? Ehn? Because you have 24hrs light in your Ikoyi house doesn’t mean you can drive me on your Lagos roads. They even tried to ‘’service me’’ ah. Elon Musk should come and carry me, please. I am tired of Nigeria.
McLaren
As you can see, I’m beautiful, exotic and fast, which means I really wasn’t made for the mess that is Nigerian roads. It’s so annoying. They buy me and put me in their house like I’m just for decoration. Maybe buy a Honda instead.
Bugatti, Abuja
I only come out of the house on Sundays when they want to do ‘’Need for Speed Abuja edition’’. Abuja roads are a little good, so I’m not even suffering like my mates in Lagos. Those ones are seeing life.
Bugatti, Lagos
Hay God. Have you seen me? I was stuck in traffic for 5hrs! 5hrs. I’m supposed to be fast, but it seems my owner thinks I’m only good for showing off because I don’t understand. Buy a Range Rover, please, stop stressing me.
Koenigsegg
So far, no one has bought me, but I know Dino Melaye is already indicating interest. I’m hoping he goes bankrupt before the purchase, Inshallah. He wants to subject me to boredom and under-use like the other cars he has in his house.
Hyundai Kona Electric Car
I’m not even ‘’luxury’’ per say, but it’s still hilarious that they brought me to Nigeria. Is there even light to see road that they want to be using electric rechargeable cars? Lmfao. They’ve unveiled me now, let’s see what follows.
Ferrari
I was built for speed oh, but they will be driving in 20km/hr Lagos traffic. I don’t even remember my function again. All I get now is ‘’Aww I saw one fine Ferrari in traffic’’ or ‘’That’s the Ferrari I told you about’’. Is that my work?
Lamborghini
I’ve been in the mechanic workshop for almost six months, something small spoilt in me and the mechanic fixed it with Honda spare part, that’s how I packed up. I’m better here sha than on Nigerian roads.
