Dear Santa, All We Want for Xmas Is a New Nigeria

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Dear Santa,

I’m writing this letter on behalf of all Nigerians. I’m not here to ask for an iPad or a car — although if you could give me those, that’d be great (especially the car because I’m tired of entering danfo bus). No, this is to ask you for a better Nigeria.

Honestly, Santa, I have beef with you. How do you have the power to give people whatever they want (as long as they’ve been good), and you haven’t given me the better Nigeria I’ve been asking for? I’ve been a good girl for so long: I’ve stopped stealing meat from the pot in the middle of the night, I now do chores without complaining, I share with the less privileges (AKA my siblings)…yet you keep giving me coal. Meanwhile, our wicked Nigerian leaders keep getting new cars, houses, vacations, etc. Is it fair? Whose side are you on?

I’ve come to ask again. And I need you to come through for me and other Nigerians now more than ever. 2022 has been one hell of a tough one for us. ASUU had an eight-month strike, holding the students’ lives hostage. Some even forgot about school and started businesses. This is the year the national grid collapsed more times than people at a Michael Jackson concert. Electricity supply was scarce, and it affected business and other aspects of people’s daily lives. And on top of that, fuel scarcity had us in a chokehold every other week.

Then there was the crazy inflation. Food prices seemed to double every week. Santa, Double Chickwizz is now ₦1,500 (it was ₦1k at the start of 2022), can you believe that? One pack of Indomie is ₦140 (was ₦70), evaporated milk is ₦600 (was ₦300), yam is ₦2000 (was ₦800), and the worst of it all, one egg is ₦100 (was ₦50). Do you see how we’re suffering?

Also, insecurity is at its peak, people are either getting laid off or owed salaries for months, the naira keeps devaluing, SARS still exists, and nobody has answered for the Lekki tollgate massacre of 2020.

If you’re wondering what our leaders are doing about these things, they’re out there being actors, influencers, travel bloggers, content creators, dancers and jokers, coming up with policies that’ll make the lives of Nigerians even more difficult. And that’s why I’ve come to you for help, Santa. Can a new Nigeria be your collective gift to all Nigerians this Christmas? We’ve seen enough shege abeg.