The music is also a big part of the appeal. Across the Lagos rave scene, DJs play everything from and to , and , blending genres and experimenting with sounds that keep the dance floor moving. With raves becoming more mainstream, more women are stepping behind the decks, bringing their own musical influences to the scene and exploring new ways to blend sounds and genres.

If you’re new to the Lagos rave scene, looking to discover new music, or simply want to put more women DJs on your radar, here are some worth checking out.

1.

Aniko centres her sets on house music, and uses them to mix other sounds like Afrobeats, hip-hop and RnB. She also mixes familiar Nigerian sounds like Highlife and Fuji into her sets, using them to introduce listeners to electronic music. If you鈥檙e looking for women DJs who offer a diverse blend of genres and sound, Aniko should be at the top of your list. She鈥檚 definitely at the top of ours.

2.

Sunrise’s fans describe her sets as a spiritual experience. If you’re looking for women DJs who can make you lose yourself in the music and just exist in the moment, Sunrise is worth putting on your radar.

3.

Axara鈥檚 sets blend Afrohouse EDM, Afrobeats, RnB and other sounds. If you鈥檙e looking to get your groove on or show off your dance moves, you should definitely add Axara to your list. 

4.

Billysroom鈥檚 sound brings together influences from different parts of the world. Her sets shift from building energy to slower, more layered moments. If you鈥檙e looking for women DJs who can get you in your feelings and still keep you dancing, Billysroom is one to put on your list. 

5.

WeAreAllChemicals (WAAC) is popular for seamless song mixing and the ability to read a crowd. She brings different sounds together and keeps the music flowing, making it difficult to leave the dance floor. If you’re looking for a DJ who knows how to keep you locked into the music and gives you a reason to keep dancing, WAAC should be on your list. 

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6.  

Earthsurfing鈥檚 sets move between Gqom, Afrohouse, Afrotech, and 3-step, creating room for unexpected shifts in sound and energy. If you’re looking to discover new music, genres and sounds, you should add Earthsurfing to your list. 

7.

IdkTito鈥檚 sound is rooted in movement, and moves fluidly between Afrohouse, EDM, Gqom, techno and Mara. She approaches music as a space for discovery and is very experimental with sound. If you want a DJ who keeps you guessing about what you’ll hear next, she might be worth adding to your list. 

8.  

DJ Lollypop is the rave scene鈥檚 Queen of Pop. She spins white-girl pop mixes, blending them with other genres like house, techno, and EDM. If you鈥檙e looking to experience pop music or discover new ones, Lollypop is your girl. 

9.

Sometimes, being a raver means feeding off the DJ’s energy, so if the DJ is enjoying their set, you will too. For Banz, her DJ tag, 鈥淏anz to make her dance,鈥� is a fitting description of what to expect when she’s on the deck. If you’re looking for a DJ whose enjoyment of her own set makes it much easier to have a good time yourself, she deserves a spot on your list.

10.

DJ Shoklate is everyone’s princess. She curates her sets with fast-paced beats and Gqom. If you’re looking to discover African Dance Music or just want to dance and have a fantastic time, Shoklate is definitely one to check out.

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In a society where women had to fight to have their voices heard, Margaret Ekpo was a pioneering activist who risked it all to ensure women鈥檚 voices became impossible to ignore.

Born in 1914, during a time when Nigeria was under British rule and women were not allowed to vote, Ekpo completed her Standard Six education in 1934. Her dreams of entering teacher training were abruptly put on hold following the death of her father. To support herself, she entered the workforce as a pupil-teacher at local elementary schools.聽

Joining her husband, Dr John Udo Ekpo, a medical practitioner, in Ireland in 1944 allowed her to further her education at the Rathmines School of Domestic Economy in Dublin, where she studied for a diploma in domestic science. Upon returning to Aba in Eastern Nigeria, her husband began working at Aba General Hospital, while Ekpo established her own domestic science and sewing training school. 

Ekpo鈥檚 introduction to politics was unexpected. Amid growing nationalist demands for independence from British colonial rule, local meetings were convened to protest widespread racial discrimination within the civil service. Her husband鈥檚 status as a government-employed doctor restricted his political involvement, leading Ekpo to attend these gatherings on his behalf. As the only woman present, she witnessed impassioned speeches by figures like and Herbert Macaulay, which inspired her to take action. Added to this was her observation of the rampant discrimination in the colonial medical sector, where Nigerian staff suffered unequal pay, inferior working conditions, and limited advancement opportunities. Colonial healthcare facilities were initially reserved exclusively for European officers, with access later extended to their local employees. Nigerian medical personnel, however, were prohibited from treating European patients.

Working alongside Funmilayo Ransome-Kuti, a key influence in Ekpo鈥檚 life, Ekpo actively advocated for women鈥檚 education, total independence from colonial rule, and universal adult suffrage. This advocacy was particularly crucial during the 1940s, an era when Nigerian women remained disenfranchised. It stayed this way even through 1951, when adult taxpayer suffrage was introduced, but it still excluded most women.聽

The task before Ekpo was clear: mobilise the women in Aba and its surrounding towns. Her vision began with the creation of the Aba Township Women Association (ATWA)聽 and an ingenious strategy using salt.聽

Following the Second World War, Nigeria faced widespread commodity shortages, particularly of salt. Following her shrewd plan, Ekpo acquired the entire salt supply in the Aba Market and tied access to it to ATWA membership. Women seeking to purchase salt were required to join the association, rapidly consolidating local women into a cohesive socio-political organisation. ATWA would evolve into a formidable political force, collaborating with the Aba Community League and the Aba Market Women鈥檚 Association to advance anti-colonial discourse, promote civic participation, and successfully dismantle the male monopoly on local governance by electing female representatives to the Aba Urban District Council.聽

In 1957, Ekpo鈥檚 own influence was formalised when she was appointed to the Aba Urban District Council Caretaker Committee. Despite making her mark locally, Ekpo had grander ambitions.

As a prominent member of the National Council of Nigerians and Cameroons (NCNC), Eastern Nigeria鈥檚 main political party, Ekpo served as the region’s sole female delegate at the London constitutional conference in 1953 and the Lagos constitution conference in 1954, ensuring women’s interests were represented throughout the nation’s constitutional negotiations. 

In January 1959, she achieved a historic breakthrough alongside Janet Mokelu, with their appointment as Special Members to the Eastern House of Chiefs, a traditionally male-dominated institution. 

Despite this and her significant influence among voters, when Ekpo sought nomination for the Eastern House of Assembly elections in 1957, the party hierarchy refused to endorse female candidates, blocking her candidacy. She persevered within the party structure, ultimately taking over the leadership of the NCNC women鈥檚 wing in 1960 鈥� the year that Nigeria celebrated its independence.

Children say the darndest things, but sometimes, what they reveal about their families is enough to leave an adult speechless. 

We asked seven Nigerian teachers about the shocking, disturbing and heartbreaking family secrets their students have revealed in the classroom. Here鈥檚 what they had to say.

鈥淢y student knows all his dad鈥檚 girlfriends names鈥� 鈥� Lola*, 27

I was teaching my students about monogamy and polygamy during a Social Studies class when one boy challenged my explanation.

I explained that polygamy involves being married to more than one spouse. He raised his hand and said his daddy brings different women home all the time, but he hasn鈥檛 married any of them. So, he wanted to know if that counts as polygamy too.

Before I could even respond, he started listing their names.I went quiet, trying to process what was happening while he carried on talking about his father鈥檚 bribes too. 

This boy is in BASIC 3! I genuinely didn鈥檛 know how to approach that conversation. 

鈥淗is father doesn鈥檛 work, but he has somewhere to be every day鈥� 鈥� Adejuwon*, 30

There鈥檚 a  boy in my class whose family situation during a lesson on family roles. I told the children how I used to go to the farm early in the morning with my mother,  then  asked if they knew what their parents did for a living. 

Everyone answered until this seven-year-old boysaid his daddy doesn鈥檛 work. His mummy lives abroad and feeds them, while his father spends his days sitting in a woman鈥檚 shop until night.

I tried to soften the situation by saying at least his daddy cared for them at home, then he corrected me. He said grandmother bathes them and cooks for them.

鈥淎 student casually talked about his abusive dad鈥� 鈥� Solomon*,28

It was around 7 a.m., before assembly. I was rushing through my lesson notes when a little boy from KG came running into my classroom.

I smiled and greeted him. He did the usual little-kid things,  ran around, drummed on my table, then walked up to me and said, 鈥淯ncle, my daddy beat my mummy yesterday.鈥� I immediately froze. He continued, demonstrating with his hands. 鈥淗e blow her eyes like this.鈥� What made it more awkward was that his mother was always giving relationship advice and talking about how loving her husband was. There I was, sitting with a lesson note in my hand and trying to process what this child had just told me. Then he burped and ran out.

鈥淚 had to teach an SS1 student that beating your wife isn鈥檛 love鈥�  鈥� Sunday*, 33

I remember an incident with some SS1 students who were arguing about family and love. They were debating whether treating your wife well made her respect you less.

One boy insisted that women needed to be beaten occasionally whenever they misbehaved, just to remind them who鈥檚 in charge. He used his parents as an example, explaining that his father disciplined his mother whenever she messed up. Yet, she remained devoted to his father and never complained.

I don鈥檛 even remember when I smacked the back of his head and told him to shut up.  Then I gave the entire class a lesson on domestic violence, respect, and what love actually means.

鈥淚 asked about his black eye, and he gave me a family update鈥�  鈥� Nelly*,21

This is really not funny, but funny in the most disturbing way.

A child came to school with a black eye, and when I asked him about it in class, he said, 鈥淢iss, my daddy give my mummy gboza! He hit her head on the wall, and when I went there, he just blow me in my eye.鈥�

He said it so casually, like he was recounting the latest episode of Power Rangers. 

And that鈥檚 the part that gets me. This is somebody鈥檚 reality, but to him, it was just another thing that happened at home.

鈥淗is mother was scamming his dad鈥�  鈥� Jo*, 31

A student once told me that whenever the school sent his mother a bill, she created  another version with extra charges and sent it to his father. His daddy has no idea. 

He told me he wanted to expose his mother, but his father barely came home, checked their books or tookan interest in their studies.

All I could do was listen to a child wrestle with whether to expose his mother鈥檚 dishonesty or not since the father barely showed  up. A lot of parents don鈥檛 know that children notice more than we think. 

鈥淢y student smiled through hunger so nobody would worry鈥�  鈥� Ayo * 27, M

There was a boy in my class who always dressed very nice, brought lovely meals, and excelled in everything. His father used to pay three terms鈥� school fees at once, and that had been the arrangement since KG.

Then, in Primary One, everything changed. The boy became slimmer, unkempt, and stopped bringing lunch sometimes. Whenever I asked why, he鈥檇 smile and  say he forgot his lunchbox at home. 

One afternoon, he came to me during lunch and whispered that he was hungry. He confessed he hadn鈥檛 forgotten his lunchbox;  there simply wasn鈥檛 any food at home. He鈥檇 had pap for breakfast and nothing the night before. He told me his dad had sold his car, and his sister needed surgery.

He was just a little boy, telling me things no child should have to worry about. I started buying him food and his mother cried when she found out.  The school and I helped however we could.

Then the family disappeared, I don鈥檛 think they could keep up in Lagos. I still think about them, and I wonder if he鈥檚 okay now. 

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If you grew up in Nigeria, you probably know that most adults don鈥檛 always believe in proportional punishment. Sometimes, they even gave you something to actually cry about because you had the audacity to do so before anyone had beaten you. 

Sometimes the punishments matched the crime. Other times, they made you wonder if there was a second offence nobody told you about. We spoke to six Nigerians about receiving punishments that didn鈥檛 fit the crime, and they had quite a few things to get off their chests.

鈥淚 refused to eat okro soup鈥� 鈥� Faith*, F, 30

I used to be a picky eater, and this frustrated my mum a lot. Once, when I was about five, she made okro soup for lunch, but I refused to eat. She beat me so badly that I threw up and started hyperventilating. Our neighbours had to intervene and clean me up.

That experience affected my relationship with food. I eat a lot now, and I鈥檝e been struggling with my weight.

In hindsight, I deserved a bit of the spanking. It got me to eat, but I think she could have spared the rod that day. I understand that she acted out of worry, so I don鈥檛 hold it against her. Plus, I can emotionally blackmail her with the incident whenever she brings up my weight. It鈥檚 a win-win for me.

鈥淢y mum gave me a real reason to cry鈥� 鈥� Adesewa*, F, 26

I grew up in a large compound with three other families. One neighbour had five children who were my playmates. 

One afternoon, one of them started tickling me while we were playing. I laughed at first, but it became overwhelming, and I burst into tears. I was still crying when I got home. After I told my mum what happened, she decided to give me an actual reason to cry. She brought out the pankere she kept at home and whipped me all over my body. I cried myself to sleep and woke up to welts on my skin. She gave me groundnuts to console me. 

It never should have been that deep. She could have asked me to kneel down and call it a day.

鈥淲e ate the meat that was meant for stew鈥� 鈥� Alice*, F, 32

My parents used to make stew every Saturday to cater for our family of five throughout the week. One weekend, my mom wasn鈥檛 home, so the responsibility fell to my dad. He prepared the ingredients, fried the meat, and left for a church fellowship.

My two siblings and I ate more than half the meat intended for the stew. Then we tried to cut the remaining ones in half, hoping he wouldn鈥檛 notice. But he did. He locked the door, made us kneel in a triangle and flogged us for about 45 minutes, pausing at intervals to explain why what we鈥檇 done was wrong.

In hindsight, we probably deserved it, but he wasn鈥檛 as strict as my mum. I expected that he鈥檇 be lenient.

鈥淚 forgot to wash my socks鈥� 鈥� Temi*, F, 26

When I was in primary school, I had to live with my aunty, her two children and an older cousin. She had a rule that we had to wash our uniforms after school. Once, I washed my uniforms but forgot my socks. I begged my cousin to help me wash them, but she refused. I was upset, so I left them on the balcony.

When my aunty came home and found them, I knew I was in trouble. She didn鈥檛 say anything till we sat down for dinner at 8 p.m., when she suddenly started beating me. I ran away, but I later returned and knelt downstairs to beg her. She told me to come upstairs and receive the rest of my punishment.

I still think she did too much. It wasn鈥檛 her business whether I washed my socks or not.

鈥淚 received the beating of my life over a charger鈥� 鈥� Abdul*, M, 23

I grew up with my mum in a small estate in Kogi State, where we had a troublesome neighbour who constantly quarrelled with people. I was an omo get inside, but I鈥檇 sneak out to play with her kids. 

One day, she got into it with my mum. After they settled, my mum warned me to stop talking to the woman and her kids. A few weeks later, she bought me a new phone. When the charger developed a fault,  the neighbour鈥檚 son lent me a similar one. I thought he鈥檇 switched the chargers so I told my mum what had happened when she returned. 

I expected a scolding, but she beat me so badly that I tried to unalive myself by swallowing all the pills I could find. I stopped telling her things after that. Even now, there are conversations I can鈥檛 have with her because I don鈥檛 know how she鈥檇 react. 

鈥淚 refused to write an essay鈥� 鈥� Joshua*, M, 28

I was a very stubborn child, both at home and in school. By SS2, my behaviour had gotten so bad that my school threatened to expel me. On one occasion, my name appeared on the list of noisemakers for both arts and science classes, even though I was a science student. The teachers found my father鈥檚 office and reported to him. They all agreed that I should write three letters and three essays as punishment. 

I completed everything except the last essay, a narrative about an armed robbery on my street. I鈥檇 never witnessed one, so I asked them to change the topic. They refused, so I didn鈥檛 write it. They decided that for every day I didn鈥檛 submit, I鈥檇 get that number of strokes. One stroke on day one, seven on day seven. They got tired by day 24. 

I found the whole thing annoying because there was no reason to drag it out. They could have just punished me once and for all.

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requires the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) to publish a preliminary voters register for public scrutiny 90 days before the day of the elections.聽Section 19 (1) of .

As of Thursday, October 22, 2026, 86 days remain until the presidential elections on January 16, 2027.聽 INEC still hasn’t published the voter registration, and the absence of the INEC voters register 2027 online is already threatening the integrity of the upcoming polls.

Several , online conversations, and individual speculation have surrounded this absence of duty from INEC.  On Wednesday, October 21 2026, INEC spokesperson Mohammed Haruna said that the commission at physical registration areas between October 9 and 15, and that they expect to use the objections and feedback from these published registers ahead of December 15, so that they can then publish the final version. 

This simply doesn’t cut it. Section 19 (1) of the 2026 Electoral Act says:

“Subject to the provisions of section 9 (6) of this Act, the Commission shall, not later than 90 days to a general election, appoint a period of seven days during which a copy of the voters鈥� register for each Local Government, Area Council or Ward shall be displayed or published for public scrutiny at every registration area and on its official website or any website established by the Commission for that purpose.”

“鈥�.on its official website”!

So even if INEC did, in fact, publish these registers in registration areas, they still have not been published online, where they would obviously reach most Nigerians. In addition, there is no specific date from the spokesperson’s statement; all we know is that they will try to get the final version (not the preliminary version) before December 15.

In the last election, even with all the reported irregularities, INEC still published the preliminary registration online and in registration areas before the final version was released. So this says a lot about the commission and where we are headed with our electoral processes.

What could this mean for Nigerians and the elections?

For first-time voters, getting around to vote should not be a scavenger hunt. According to INEC, have been recorded ahead of the elections in January. While this is a big addition, registering to vote does not mean everything is settled. They still have to navigate registration updates. Collect their Permanent Voter Cards (PVCs) and make corrections when their information online is not accurate well before election day.

This unfortunate turn of events just means that it gets a lot harder and more complicated from here on. A development that could stop so many people from voting.

Online access matters for people who cannot access registration centres. Given how INEC has about preparing for the elections, this is a grand display of incompetence, and it appears that there is no accountability for the commission’s poor leadership. 

In Nigeria, for both the government and the agencies that are supposed to be independent. When you couple this with the fact that INEC are technically breaking the law, and that the public scrutiny we are being denied is a safeguard against rigging, it becomes evident to see how the public would feel excluded ahead of a critical election. 

So now the key questions are: is there going to be enough time for the people to review the voters register? How do we navigate the register if it does eventually come out or comes out too late? Who is going to hold INEC accountable for this massive mishap? And more importantly, how can we trust INEC ahead of 2027, on top of the already existing public trust that is in the gutters?

What we are looking at appears to be a disappointment in voter trust, electoral transparency, and the everyday Nigerian’s ability to vote without unnecessary stress. 

You cannot ask Nigerians to trust an electoral process they cannot fully inspect. You cannot ask Nigerians to come out en masse if you do not hold up your own end of the bargain. And you most certainly cannot run Nigeria’s democracy on an electoral body that is incompetent without accountability.

Chief Anthony Enahoro went from being celebrated as the “Father of the Nigerian State鈥� for introducing the motion for self-rule on March 31, 1953, to having to flee the country, be extradited, tried and imprisoned for treason shortly after independence.

Born in 1923 in Uromi, in modern-day Edo State, Enahoro was the eldest of 10 children and grew up with a penchant for reading and writing. He received his primary education at the Government Schools in Uromi and Owo, Ondo State, before advancing to . As a student, he rose to prominence within student activist circles, organising several demonstrations against British colonial rule in the 1940s.

After his early education, he became a journalist, working with the Southern Nigerian Defender. In 1944, at 21 years old, Enahoro鈥檚 strong relationship with Nnamdi Azikiwe led to his appointment as Editor of the Southern Nigerian Defender in Ibadan, making him the youngest newspaper editor in Nigerian history. Over the following decade, he held major editorial roles across the country, including the Daily Comet, the West African Pilot, and the Sapele-based Morning Star.

Enahoro entered formal politics in 1950, co-founding the Mid-West Party with Arthur Prest. Following the party’s integration into the Action Group in 1951, Enahoro was elected to the Federal House of Representatives, where he introduced the historic 1953 parliamentary motion demanding Nigerian self-governance, directly paving the way for full independence in 1960. 

While he seemed to rise quickly in life and career, political instability soon tested his career. During the 1962 Western Region crisis, Enahoro was detained and subsequently implicated in the treason trial against Obafemi Awolowo. He escaped to the United Kingdom through Ghana in 1963; however, the Nigerian government, seeking his extradition under the Fugitive Offenders Act of 1881, complicated his request for asylum.

By 1963, Enahoro had become a household name in Britain due to his fight against extradition. In what would be notably referred to as the Enahoro affair, debates ensued in the House of Commons, and Harold Macmillan鈥檚 Conservative government was forced to balance human rights concerns against diplomatic relations with Nigeria. Despite the uproar, Enahoro was extradited, tried for treason, and imprisoned. He remained in jail until he was freed by the military government in 1966.

Amid the crisis following the 1966 coups, Enahoro represented the Mid-West region at the Ad Hoc Constitutional Conference in Lagos. He subsequently held key ministerial roles in General Yakubu Gowon’s government, serving as Federal Commissioner for Information and Labour from 1967 to 1974 and Federal Commissioner for Special Duties in 1975. Simultaneously, he served as President of the World Festival of Negro Arts and Culture between 1972 and 1975. 

Enahoro鈥檚 commitment to governance extended into pro-democracy advocacy as chairman of the National Democratic Coalition (NADECO), leading opposition against General Sani Abacha鈥檚 military dictatorship. His civil leadership also encompassed the chairmanship of both the Movement for National Reformation (MNR) and the Pro-National Conference Organisation, PRONACO, advocating for a people-driven constitution and true federalism. 

In recognition of his lifetime achievements, he was awarded an honorary D.Sc. from the University of Benin in 1972, conferred with the Commander of the Order of the Federal Republic (CFR) in 1982, and authored the notable autobiography 鈥楩ugitive Offender鈥�.

Beyond his impact on emphasising Nigeria鈥檚 need for independence, Enahoro鈥檚 story is also remarkable for his impact on the push for women’s rights. He simultaneously challenged the male-dominated Western House of Assembly by sponsoring a motion that highlighted how discriminatory electoral laws routinely excluded women. He stressed that women constituted an important but still unrepresented interest. 

He successfully petitioned the government to exercise its constitutional powers to appoint qualified, high-integrity female members to the regional legislature, leading to the historic appointment of Remilekun Aiyedun in the Western Region. This set a powerful precedent across regional parliaments and paved the way for activists like Margaret Ekpo to be appointed to decision-making bodies in the East, cementing women鈥檚 rightful place in Nigerian civic affairs.

Here are six things that caught our attention. 

1. Five Indomie Combos? That鈥檚 Definitely Interesting聽

Indomie Palooza Lagos featured five exciting noodle combos: Africana, Asun, Nkwobi, Pepper Chicken and Gizdodo, giving guests new ways to enjoy their favourite Indomie.聽

2. The Games That Spotlighted Everyone鈥檚 Competitive Side聽

Indomie Palooza Lagos featured interactive games where guests tested their skills, competed for bragging rights, and had fun with friends. 

3. 2Baba and Shoday Were Already a Win, But聽 Lil Kesh Too?

Indomie Palooza Lagos brought the fun with live performances by Lil Kesh on Saturday, October 10, and 2Baba on Sunday, October 11, alongside Shoday. Guests enjoyed two days of great music, food and entertainment.聽

4. So, You Think You Can Dance? Indomie Wanted to Know

Indomie Palooza Lagos featured an exciting dance competition where participants showed off their moves while guests cheered them on, adding more fun to the experience. 

5. DJ Uzzy and Big Bimi Came With the Flow聽

DJ Uzzy kept the music going on both days, while Big Bimi engaged the crowd and maintained the energy. Together, they added to the fun alongside the food, games and live performances at Indomie Palooza Lagos. 

6. Giveaways And a Reason to Smile聽

Guests at Indomie Palooza Lagos enjoyed exciting giveaways and branded Indomie merchandise, making the experience even more rewarding. 

After a messy breakup involving repeated cases of infidelity, Vanessa thought she鈥檇 left boyfriend and their complicated relationship in the past.聽Then, she a new friend at a rave,without realising they鈥檇 both been dating the same man.聽

In this story, she shares how an awkward house party exposed the truth, how she found friendship in an uncomfortable situation, and how sometimes, moving on means finding an unexpected friend in the middle of the mess.

This is Vanessa鈥檚 story, as told to Maris

Daniel and I dated for two years. It was two whole years of sharing clothes, ordering food for each other, making stupid promises at 2 a.m., and planning a future that wasn鈥檛  going to exist. 

I genuinely thought he was my person. We met at an event for creatives after he showed interest in the poetryI performed. I was a writer, he was charming, and things seemed promising. Unfortunately, Daniel also seemed to think he was everybody else鈥檚 person.

The first time I caught him cheating, he cried. The second time, he blamed alcohol. It happened at a rave so I somehow convinced myself that kissing someone could be excused because he鈥檇 been drinking. By the third time, he had developed a talent for making me feel guilty for discovering what he鈥檇 done.

I stayed longer than I should have because I loved him. Eventually, though, loving Daniel started feeling like an unpaid internship where I did all the emotional labour and received nothing but stress in return.

So, I may have cheated back. 

Was it  mature? No. Was it therapeutic? Also no. But did I enjoy knowing that Daniel could no longer stand on his imaginary moral high ground? Absolutely.

 When he found out what I鈥檇 done, he lost his mind. He shouted, cried, and called me names. At one point, I reminded him that he had cheated on me repeatedly, but that didn鈥檛 seem to matter. Cheating was acceptable when he did it, just not when I did. We broke up shortly afterwards. There were no heartfelt goodbye speeches, no drama from my end, and certainly no promises to remain friends. We blocked each other, divided our belongings, and went our separate ways.

***

I was determined to move on even though I still missed Daniel.  I never wanted him back, but when you’ve loved someone for two years, it鈥檚 normal to feel like they鈥檝e become a part of you. 

Then, in the middle of finally closing that chapter of my life,  a friend dragged me to a rave. To be honest, it was the kind of reset I didn鈥檛 know I needed.

The music was good, and everybody seemed determined to have the best night of their lives. My friends made sure I danced, did a little Molly and enjoyed myself. Eventually, I abandoned my friends and went outside for some air. I was tired and needed a break from the crowd.

Almost immediately, I noticed a girl sitting at the other end, looking just as exhausted as I felt. I asked if she was okay, and she immediately said no. We both laughed, and started talking. She introduced herself as Debby, and we spent some time gisting about the music, crowd, and how she鈥檇 had a long week and needed to rest. Unfortunately, she鈥檇 already bought her ticket and couldn’t let it go. 

A few minutes later, we went grab drinks at the bar, and returned to our little corner. Somehow, what should have been a 10-minute conversation stretched into almost two hours.

Debby told me about her job, friends, and her obsession with Interview with the Vampire. I told her about my writing, and my recent breakup. Although, I didn鈥檛 mention Daniel鈥檚 name. Before we parted ways, we exchanged Instagram handles.聽

By the next morning, we were sending each other memes. And over the following weeks, we practically moved from strangers to friends. We talked almost every day, occasionally met for drinks, and developed the sort of friendship where you could send someone a ridiculous video at midnight without needing to explain yourself.

Then Debby invited me to a small house party. She wanted me to meet her friends. That day, I arrived with a bottle of wine, anticipating a fun night. Everyone looked cool, and I made the rounds, saying hello to people before wandering into the kitchen.

And there he was. My ex.

My body immediately went cold. Daniel鈥檚聽 expression changed too, and before I could even process what was happening, he was asking what I was doing there. I laughed and told him I was invited. Before he could respond, Debby walked in and wrapped an arm around his waist.

She introduced him as her boyfriend and me as her friend.

The first thing that came out of my mouth was 鈥淓wo!鈥� I started laughing, not because anything was funny, but because I couldn鈥檛 understand how I鈥檇 walked into a situation this absurd without receiving a warning from the universe.

Debbie sensed that something was off. So I asked if she was truly dating Daniel. Then she said they鈥檇 been together for a year. A whole year. During the same year Daniel and I were dating.

Daniel immediately became defensive, even though I hadn鈥檛 accused him of anything yet. That only made Debby more suspicious. She eventually asked if he was the ex I鈥檇 told her about. I could only shrug.

What followed was an uncomfortable conversation filled with explanations, several awkward silences, and Daniel trying to rewrite our relationship history. He claimed that our breakup was mutual and that we鈥檇 both made mistakes. Then, he brought up my cheating.

I also reminded him of his own repeated infidelity. Debby asked if what I was saying was true and he tried to dismiss it. Somehow, his attempts to defend himself only made things clearer.

Watching Debby process everything made me uncomfortable. I recognised the expression on her face because I had worn it myself. It was the look of someone trying to reconcile the person they thought they knew with the person standing in front of them.

I felt sorry for her. Not because I wanted Daniel back, God forbid. I just knew what it felt like to defend someone until you could no longer recognise yourself.

The situation became too awkward for me, so I decided to leave. Debby followed me to the door and apologized. I told her it was fine and I didn鈥檛 want to ruin her party which was already ruined by the fact that all three of us were there

Debby and I continued talking after that night. 

Things were awkward at first, but we eventually had honest conversations about the situation and agreed that our friendship didn鈥檛 need to become another battlefield. We remained friends and not long after, she and Daniel broke up. Debby later told me that Daniel had tried to paint me聽 as the jealous ex.

These days, I don鈥檛 regret meeting Debby. Sometimes, life doesn鈥檛 give you closure through an apology. Sometimes, it gives you an unexpected friendship and the opportunity to see your past from a completely different perspective.

And sometimes, making friends with an ex鈥檚 new partner is perfectly possible, you just have to be prepared for the most awkward house party of your entire life.

Read Next: Nigerians Share What It鈥檚 Like Schooling With Kids of the Super Rich

It all starts today, October 22, at 5 PM! Absolut is bringing cocktails, creative bartending, and a whole mix of experiences to the Balmoral Convention Hall at the Federal Palace Hotel, Victoria Island, today and tomorrow, October 23.

And because we already know what happens when Lagos people gather, here are seven personalities you should expect to meet at the Absolut experience.

The real question is, which one are you?

1. The One Who Suddenly Becomes a Cocktail Expert

They’ve barely taken two sips, but they’re already discussing flavour profiles like they have a degree in mixology.

“This one has citrus notes.” “I think the balance could be better.”

Oga, weren’t you asking what vodka was made from five minutes ago?

With Absolut Citron, Absolut Vanilla, Absolut Raspberry, and Absolut Watermelon bringing different flavours to the Born To Mix experience, this person will have plenty of opportunities to demonstrate their newfound expertise.

Just smile and let them cook.

2. The Friend Who Wants to Explore Every Absolut Cocktail

You know that friend who loves exploring every option on a menu?

That鈥檚 this person.

They鈥檒l start by asking about Absolut Citron, get curious about a cocktail featuring Absolut Raspberry, and wonder what Absolut Vanilla brings to the mix.

With Absolut Watermelon adding another flavour to explore, they鈥檙e all about discovering different combinations and finding their favourite.

But for them, the experience is about savouring the flavours, making mindful choices and enjoying the moment responsibly.

If Born To Mix had a personal flavour explorer, this would be the person.

3. The Social Butterfly Who Knows Everybody

This person came with you, but you haven’t seen them since you entered.

Somehow, they’ve greeted five old friends, met three new people, and introduced themselves to the bartenders.

You turn around for two seconds, and they’re already taking pictures with people you don’t recognise.

But honestly, they’re exactly the kind of people Absolut had in mind with Born To Mix. Different personalities coming together, making connections and enjoying shared experiences.

4. The Content Creator Who Needs 17 Takes of One Cocktail

Before they even taste their Absolut cocktail, the camera must eat.

First, we need a close-up. Then another angle. Then the slow-motion video of the bartender making the drink.

And please, nobody should touch the table until the perfect shot has been captured.

Absolut’s Born To Mix experience will give this person plenty of content opportunities, from creative cocktail serves to the activation’s atmosphere and personalities.

Just know that if you’re attending with them, you’ve automatically become their unpaid camera assistant.

5. The One Taking the Absolut Bar Battle Personally

They are not competing. They don’t know any of the bartenders personally. But somehow, they’re more invested in the Absolut Bar Battle than the actual contestants.

“Look at that technique!”

“Ah, this person deserves to win!”

Before you know it, they’ve picked their favourite bartender and started analysing every cocktail like they’re on the judging panel.

The Absolut Bar Battle will put bartenders’ creativity and skills on display, so this person will have enough entertainment to keep them occupied.

Nobody should argue with them about their favourite contestant, please.

6. The Friend Who Said They Were Only Coming for One Hour

“I’m not staying long.”

Famous last words.

They arrived at Absolut’s Born To Mix experience with every intention of making a quick appearance.

But then they discovered an interesting cocktail, ran into someone they knew and got distracted by everything happening at the Absolut space.

Now it’s three hours later, and they’re the ones suggesting everybody should stay a little longer.

The friend who was supposedly in a hurry has suddenly forgotten they have somewhere to be.

7. The Person Who Wants to Experience Absolutely Everything

This person did not leave their house to stand in one corner.

They’re checking out the Absolut cocktails, watching the Bar Battle, taking pictures, meeting people and asking what else is happening.

If there’s an activity at the Born To Mix experience, best believe they’re finding their way there.

And that’s the beauty of Absolut’s presence at Lagos Cocktail Week. There’s room for different personalities, interests, and experiences, whether you’re passionate about cocktails or simply curious to discover something new.

This person understood the assignment before anybody even explained it.

So, Which Absolut Born To Mix Personality Are You?

Whether you’re the unofficial cocktail expert, the content creator holding everybody hostage for pictures or the friend who somehow knows everyone in Lagos, Absolut’s Born To Mix experience has something for you.

Catch Absolut at Lagos Cocktail Week 2026 today and tomorrow, October 23, at the Balmoral Convention Hall, Federal Palace Hotel, Victoria Island, Lagos.

Come discover different flavours, experience the creativity behind cocktail making and find out what happens when Lagos comes together to mix things up.

Absolut. Born To Mix.

#BornToMix #AbsolutNG #DrinkResponsibly #AbsolutxLagosCocktailWeek #LagosCocktailWeek2026!

Enjoy responsibly. 18+.

About Pernod Ricard Nigeria

Pernod Ricard Nigeria is the local affiliate of Pernod Ricard, a global leader in wines and spirits.

Pernod Ricard holds a comprehensive portfolio of premium and luxury brands, with 16 out of the top 100 spirit brands in the world, including Jameson Irish Whiskey, Beefeater Gin, Martell Cognac, Seagram鈥檚 Imperial Blue Whisky, Absolut Vodka, Ballantine鈥檚, Chivas Regal, The Glenlivet Scotch Whisky, Inverroche, Olmeca Tequila, Malibu Liqueur, Imperial Black, and G.H. Mumm Champagne.

About Absolut Vodka

Established in 1879 by Lars Olsson Smith, Absolut Vodka is one of the world’s leading premium vodka brands. Produced in 脜hus, Sweden, using locally sourced winter wheat and pure water, Absolut is crafted through a continuous distillation process that delivers exceptional purity, quality and a distinctively smooth taste. Part of the Pernod Ricard portfolio, Absolut is globally recognised for championing creativity, individuality and the art of mixing through its Born To Mix philosophy.

We asked 10 Nigerian women why having more than one source of income feels necessary. They spoke about the expenses one income can鈥檛 cover, the experiences that shaped their relationship with money and whether they鈥檇 give up the extra work if one income could cover everything they need.

1. 鈥淚 Didn鈥檛 Know Where My Next Meal Would Come From鈥� 鈥� Vivian, 30, Ibadan 

I earn 400k  a month as a social media associate. My salary pays my bills and covers black tax. I also own a flower shop that brings in an extra 300-500k monthly. I鈥檝e had times when I didn鈥檛 know where my next meal would come from. Having another source of income makes me feel more financially secure. 

Even if my salary comfortably covered all my expenses, I鈥檇 still want the extra income. I enjoy testing my skills and trying new things. I also enjoy making money and having enough to spend.

2. 鈥淎 Second Income Gives Me An Exit Plan鈥� 鈥� Ijeoma*, 30, Lagos

I work in sales and earn close to 700k a month, with commissions in some months. My salary covers basics like food, skincare and beauty maintenance. I also run a baking business. It鈥檚 more of a hobby, so I don鈥檛 take it too seriously, but it made about 1million last year. 

Having another income gives me an exit plan. I can decide to quit my 9-to-5 and have something to fall back on. As a woman, being able to afford what I want or need feels essential to my survival. Even if my salary comfortably covered all my expenses, I鈥檇 still want another source of income.

3. 鈥淚 Want Something To Rely On If My Main Job Falls Through鈥� 鈥� Iqmat, 32, Lagos

I earn around $4,000 a month as a content strategist and editor. It covers my rent, groceries, bills, black tax and spending on my partner. I can save and invest too. I don鈥檛 have a side hustle at the moment, but I still want one. Before getting my current job, I worked two jobs for a few years. I also took on freelance gigs and ran a plants-and-home-decor business. My last side hustle paid me 700k  in one month.

I started my business because the company I worked for between 2020 and 2022 was shutting down. I also realised I was helping other people build their dreams while putting mine off. Having a business gave me a sense of ownership, and the extra money made me feel more secure. 

The business is on hiatus because our model doesn鈥檛 work in a country where most people don鈥檛 have disposable income. I鈥檇 like to start something else, even though my salary covers my needs. If I leave or lose my job, I want something to fall back on. This time, I鈥檇 prefer something that makes money without needing my daily input or too much of my time.

4. 鈥淚t Helps Me Care For My Mom鈥� 鈥� Gail, 31, Lagos

I鈥檓 a freelancer earning around 鈧�250,000 a month. I live with my mum, so I don鈥檛 pay rent, but I cover electricity, cooking gas, her health expenses and other household bills. I also sometimes help my sister and two cousins. What鈥檚 left goes towards food, gifts for friends and, when I can, savings. 

I bake and make resin art on the side, although the income varies each month. The extra money helps me make my mum鈥檚 life easier. It鈥檚 also about my independence. I believe someone who feeds you can also starve you, and I don鈥檛 want anyone to have that kind of power over me. 

Even if my main income covered everything, I鈥檇 still want a side hustle, especially if it means I get to do something I love. I love the access and freedom money gives me.

Next Read: At 40, I鈥檝e Turned My Passions Into Businesses That Fund The Life I Want

5. 鈥淢y Salary Alone Can鈥檛 Cover My Japa Plans鈥� 鈥� Dara*, 26, Lagos

I earn 200k a month as a social media manager and content creator. My income mostly goes towards savings, data and transport. My parents make sure I don鈥檛 have to contribute too much to household expenses. 

I鈥檓 saving to leave the country, and my salary alone can鈥檛 reach that goal. I help people write proficiency exams on the side. I also run a jewellery business. Each exam gig pays around 500k, so doing four in a month brings in about 2m. It can be more or less, depending on how many gigs I get. The jewellery business brings in an extra 15-20k weekly.

I put 70% of everything I earn into savings to reach my goal by next year. Beyond that, I think everyone should have another source of income, even if their salary covers their expenses. Life is unpredictable, and it helps to have a safety net.

6. 鈥淚 Wouldn鈥檛 Have To Borrow Before The End Of The Month鈥� 鈥� Christine*, 30, Ibadan

I work as a social media manager and a product manager, earning 100k from each job. Most of that money goes towards food, caring for my three dogs and supporting my mum. I also try to save towards my 400k rent, but sometimes I run out of money before the end of the month and have to borrow from friends. 

I have four years鈥� experience as a social media manager, yet I鈥檓 still being offered jobs that pay 100k or less. I鈥檝e also been meaning to get a new laptop, but I can鈥檛 afford to save for it. 

I鈥檓 starting a tigernut business because my current income barely covers my bills. I want to stop borrowing and start saving for emergencies. Even if my salary eventually covered everything, I鈥檇 still want another source of income. You can lose a 9-to-5 without notice, and I鈥檇 want something to fall back on.

7. 鈥淚 Earn An Extra 500k Monthly鈥� 鈥� Esther*, 28, Lagos

I was broke and jobless after NYSC, so I had to move in with a guy I was dating at the time. He provided the basics, but he treated me badly and was verbally abusive. He also refused to help me start a business even though he could afford to, then stole my idea and executed it poorly. 

That experience shaped how I feel about money. I have a crippling fear of not being able to afford what I want. Having more than one source of income makes me feel safe.

My main income now comes from an export business I run with my current partner. My salary is about 800k a month. I also write scripts, manage social media for brands and earn from two farms, which brings an extra 500k. The money pays my bills, makes black tax more bearable and allows me to contribute to the savings my partner and I are putting towards our marriage.

Even if my main income covered everything, I鈥檇 still want other sources. This is Nigeria, and anything can happen. Knowing I have something to fall back on gives me peace of mind.

8. 鈥淢y Main Job Does Not Sustain My Lifestyle鈥� 鈥� Seyi*, 30, Lagos

I work in business development and earn about $3,000 a month. It covers food, transport, data and household bills. I save towards rent and other things I need as well.

I also have a contract role that pays $2,000 a month. I realised I needed more than one source of income because many Nigerian companies don鈥檛 pay enough to sustain your lifestyle and set money aside for other things.

While the extra money has helped me feel more grounded, I want another source of income. Working two jobs is draining, but I need to save more.

9. 鈥淚鈥檓 Chronically Ill, and My Meds Are Expensive鈥� 鈥� Onome*, 32, Lagos

I鈥檓 a writer and editor earning 350k a month. I鈥檓 also chronically ill. I spend 50k on medication monthly and can spend up to 150k when I need to see a doctor or run routine tests. My HMO barely covers these costs.

My salary also goes towards food, data and black tax, so it doesn鈥檛 always stretch far enough for me to save. I take on tutoring, exam invigilation, writing, editing and ushering gigs, which bring in an extra 100-150k on average. That money helps me save and pay my rent.

Having extra income feels necessary to me because my healthcare expenses are too high. If my salary comfortably covered all my needs, I wouldn鈥檛 take on extra work. It鈥檚 stressful, and stress makes my symptoms worse.

10. 鈥淎dult Toys Bring Extra Income鈥� 鈥� Tee, 30, Lagos

I work as a test centre administrator and earn 250k a month. My salary doesn鈥檛 cover much beyond basic groceries and saving towards rent. With how hard things are in the economy, having extra income feels necessary.

I sell adult toys on the side and make about 50k monthly. It鈥檚 just enough to cover miscellaneous expenses. I don鈥檛 feel more financially secure, but it鈥檚 better than nothing. I鈥檓 also an enthusiast of self-pleasure, so I鈥檓 killing two birds with one stone. Even if my salary comfortably covered all my expenses, I鈥檇 keep selling adult toys because I鈥檓 a huge advocate for sexual satisfaction.

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